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​​BLOG ARTICLES
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Be Kind To Yourself. You are Worth It!

12/9/2021

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​MY PRESENT TO YOU!!!

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How many of you feel as though this Christmas or the holidays will be really good this year?

What are you dreading? 

What are you looking forward to?

What are you thankful for this year?

What changed in your life this year?

Did anything happen good or bad?

Do you ever notice usually when you see a post it is about always feeling good, or letting go of anger, negativity, a person who was our person? Why is it that we have to be happy all the time? 

Do you ever just give it up and say ok, I’m clearly not in control of my life and seriously I don't want to be.

Too many events happen in our lives and possibly we feel like why did that happen? 

I sear if one more person that I am a strong person for surviving all of life journeys I am going to snap.

You must understand where I am coming from. 

Has your life always been happy? Of course not.

How can we be good at life when we don't have life experience. 

Believe me I know. So, aggravating. Right!

The one thing I can tell you is that all of us have choices. We can choose to live like victims and sit in our rooms and feel sorry for ourselves, and yes, I know this is where you are possibly saying, you have no idea what you are talking about. Another thought you might be having is you have no idea what I have been through in my life. Your right. I don't. 

You could be the other person that says well I have had a really good life so far. I went to school got good grades, university married with two kids and a white picket fence and have no regrets. Or do you? Then the other person would say I have had a bit of both where it’s great. Well maybe not great but what is life without life's incidents. 

Funny thing is, is I just went through a really rough traumatic "incident" where I ended up in Royal Columbian Hospital with a fractured skull, broken nose, bruised ribs, bleeding on the brain, and much more. What I am trying to say is, who would have thought that finally at my age things would settle down and I would be retiring early and not having to worry about much of anything. Well F.... that! So again, I can choose to be one of the above mentioned people. If I were to give in to this unrelenting fear, the migraines, concussion, sore body, where would that leave me. I’ve worked to damn hard to get to where I am. Yes, I have nightmares, I jump when I hear something that I am not used to hearing. But I will be damned if those F...ers are stealing my life. 

You with me?

You have worked too hard to get to where you are. Would you really consider throwing it all away and just settling for ok well I guess this is what life is going to be like forever. F... NO!! You’re not. 
Let's do this together.

So many life skills that we can work on together. You're never alone. Tools that will take you form being happy to happier or from can I do this to wow I’m really glad I reached out.

I’m just sitting here waiting. Email me. What do you have to lose? Not a Freakin’ thing.

No pressure ok well maybe a little. But somebody has to kick your butt.

Let’s make these holidays something that you will remember for a very long time. This year we are breaking those crappy habits and setting the stage for the NEW Year.

You are WORTH this and so much more.

My present to you.

Jenn
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EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS

12/9/2021

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Learning From Our Emotional Triggers and Self Growth


By Laura Mass
Reviewed By: Jennifer Peacock-Vauthrin R.P.C. M.P.C.C.

Every one of us have emotional triggers but when and where did they begin? Surprisingly, these triggers rarely spontaneously occur. They are cued by a spark of intense emotional reaction, to something in our internal (thoughts or feelings) or external (stressful event) environment. Emotional triggers are associated with varying degrees of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – I.e. from a small child being abandoned to the stress of soldiers of war. They are not bound by time, age, sex, religion, nor lifestyle; they are suppressed emotional wounds.

Because of the emotions can be uncomfortable or even paralyzing, by identifying, naming, and learning specific coping skills, we can take steps to limit the full impact of those triggers. Let us take the opportunity to “check-in” with ourselves, reflect, get the help we need and be provided with managing skills to move forward to reclaim your life – on your terms, not the emotions.

For the change to take place within us, we need to be open to seeing things differently. I know it maybe difficult, however, let take a step back from the emotions and truly focus on the triggers. Here we will learn “Identify the triggers” and “Triggers for growth”.

Emotional energy itself is neutral. It is the feeling sensation and physiological reaction, which makes a specific emotion positive or negative. The feeling itself is what one labels as anger, sadness, joy or fear. It is then that the interpretations or thoughts about the emotional energy which give it meaning. It is the emotions which serves as the carrier of these waves for the entire spectrum of feelings. By understanding that emotions are energy, this implies that they are fluid, always moving, meant to be felt and released. If the energy is suppressed and ignored, the true culprit originates from low emotional intelligence and stress burnout – in other words, the inability to accurately perceive emotions, in both yourself and others.
 
Below is a guide which you will do for straight 7 days, I will ask that you email me, at Jennifer@SoulutionsCounselling.com, your main trigger and we will then book a free consultation for after your 7 days.    
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​Of course, it takes time and practice to learn how to transform the triggers into something positive. Doing the cognitive work does pays off. By addressing the triggers and discovering a new way to relate to them, we can drastically reduce their occurrences because you will start to heal the root wound that caused them in the first place. 
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Learning from your triggers and growing because of them is a natural process. That means, when it doesn’t feel right, don’t push yourself to address your triggers head on. Again, creating space and learning how to re-associate with your triggers is key. Go slowly and remember that the work you do will benefit everyone, including those you love the most.
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EMOTIONAL REASONING

10/8/2021

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Do you ever wonder why that things seem to end in destructive outcomes in your life?
 
By Laura Mass
Reviewed By: Jennifer Peacock-Vauthrin R.P.C. M.P.C.C.

 
When you think emotionally, your past may be sabotaging your present.
 
Unfortunately, self-sabotage is more prevalent than we realize; what’s worse is that it can lead to destructive outcomes in both our personal and processional lives. Once this habit is acknowledged as an issue, you know something needs to be “nipped in the behind” because it cannot continue.
 
You see self-sabotage interferes with our daily personal lives by creating a bottle neck. The inability to move forward, and most of all, being happy and content in one’s life. We feel like crap, have negative and unproductive thoughts, and have self doubt in our abilities; the support system you knew, you have forgotten. By working with a counsellor, you will recognize the triggers, use your new tools, and can largely reduce or stop the vicious cycle all together.
 
Why is there a huge link to fear and have a fear of success? It’s common for insecurities and self-limiting beliefs to surface when we approach something we truly desire in our life. The fear is centred on the potential consequence of, not the goals but the success. The expectations of success are based on the idea that achieving one’s goals means making sacrifices or enduring losses, it is perhaps not surprising that people may be wary of what success might ultimately cost them.
 
The new arsenal will not only increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself but, also give you the tools to support others and encourage themselves to stop the destructive behaviour.
 
SELF-SABOTAGE IN RELATIONSHIPS

Although the reasons for sabotaging relationships are complex, the origins are rooted in emotional experiences, often from childhood, that affect our self-perception. By acknowledging the self-destructive behaviour, this is where the journey begins.

The various forms of sabotaging relationships can include choosing partners with different values, picking fights or by refusing to fully commit to relationships.

Other forms include holding unrealistic expectations, inability to trust, suppressing the self, and losing yourself in the relationship.
 
The most effective strategy for dealing with relationship issues is through Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. As a registered therapist, I am here to help you learn to identify, question, and change how the thoughts, attitudes and beliefs relate to the emotional and behavioural reactions that cause the difficulty. The benefits of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy include:
 
- Goal-oriented and problem-focused therapy
- Treatments tend to range between five to 20 sessions
- Highly engaging
- Holds the patient accountable for the therapeutic outcome
- The idea is centered around that one’s emotions and thoughts are responsible for how they behave and feel
- Improves our emotional regulation
- Improves the development of personal coping strategies that target solving current problems  

I look forward to guiding you through your journey by healing the past and working on our creating the best healthy version of yourself. 

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EATING DISORDERS

9/7/2021

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Eating disorders - what's that voice in my head saying?
 
Reviewed By: Jennifer Peacock-Vauthrin R.P.C. M.P.C.C.
 
Do you have this overwhelming urge to listen to that “eating disorder voice”? “If I eat that sandwich, I’ll need to exercise for 2 plus hours!” or “I love the taste of food so much, that I stuff myself and need to quietly need to get rid of it by throwing up.” What if the voice whispers, “Oh my gosh, this hamburger tastes sooo good, I need another one…or maybe two?” Whether it’s someone who refuses who eat, regurgitates food, loves eating, or influenced by the media about their body image - they all have three things in common: They cannot stop thinking of food, learned unhealthy behaviors, and over time their health will deteriorate.  
 
Now, let us peel back a deeper layer: Do you hide it from friends and family members? What tricks have you learned to hide your secret? Realizing, “wait, do I have an issue with food?”
 
Eating disorders don’t discriminate between sex or age, although it is more prevalent among young women (3.8%) then men (1.5%) in the US as of 2001-2004 (Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 2010). It’s interesting to note that the disorders usually develop during puberty. Then there are psychological, environmental, and social factors that may contribute to the disorder. There are many reasons which are associated with eating disorders.
 
Some common signs of eating disorders that affect one’s health:
 
  • Obsessing over weight, dieting and calories intake
  • Being uncomfortable eating around others and food
  • Changes in moods
 
Physical signs:
 
  • Stomach and throat issues
  • General weakness
  • Dental and skin issues
 
The first step is to acknowledge what is happening to you – mentally and physically.
 
The next step can seem very difficult: Talking to someone. In some cases, friends or family become concerned and speak with you; and hopefully you are open to truly listen to them. These special people in your life are there to support you, before, during and after receiving professional support.
 
Depending on the severity of the eating disorder, this is where you can start a dialog and work with your counsellor, doctor or specialist. Most people will begin with a counsellor who is compassionate, understanding, and patient. Personally, I focus on not only the person but ensuring the person feels that they are in a safe place to speak freely. I am unjudgmental and am here to specifically learn about you. By understanding your background, wants and needs, it guides me to ask reflective questions. I can then provide tools to assist you in manage the anxiety, stress, and decrease the negative thoughts. In some cases, people have unconsciously buried things that really affected them that it was just too unbearable to carry with them.
Let’s work together starting today and the life you truly deserve – towards a brighter future!
 
Let’s chat!
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DEPRESSION

8/31/2021

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Depression - Are you stuck? Are you tired of being in a rut?
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Reviewed By: Jennifer Peacock-Vauthrin R.P.C. M.P.C.C.
 
To define depression is one thing, to live with it can be debilitating.
 
It is estimated that 15%-20% of the adult population will experience one form or another of depression at some point in their lifetime. Depression maybe caused by one factor alone or a combination of factors. These factors include biological, psychological, and even environmental factors.
 
When one feels a form of stress, the person fully acknowledges the mind and body connection, so to with depression. The mental illness does not discriminate whether the person is a child, adolescent, young adult, adult or senior. It is how we work through theses stages that determine the outcome.
 
Mental health can be triggered by very stressful like situations or other factors as:

  • Death of a friend or family member
  • Financial difficulties or job loss
  • Social isolation
  • Relationship conflicts
  • Stressful workplace, workload, or prolonged working hours
  • Health issues, typically related to chronic health struggles
 
The good news is that depression can be controlled with working with professionals who a) teach psychological tools and b) depending on the severity, prescribing medication.
 
The persons sensitivity of depression includes feelings of being unable to enjoy life, feelings of despair and hopelessness, perpetual crying, unable to think of anything but feelings being very raw and deep, and either overeats or stops eating. One of the many coping mechanisms is to “sleep off” the feelings.
 
When we are so focused on ourselves, it can be easy to forget that there are people that are there to listen, help and provide information of the varying support systems; counsellors, doctors, social workers, facilitated free groups, and keep in mind that there are people who relate to how you are feeling and, in turn, may need you as much as you need them.
 
Although reaching out may feel like the hardest step and scary, I know you can do it. The rest you can get through with connecting with people and specialist that you resonate and have a good rapport with.
 
When you are ready, I am here to listen and speak with. Contact me by phone, email, text. I will guide you and walk the mile with you. Be ready because this experience will increase your confidence, provide you with greater peace of mind and happiness, feeling safer in the world and increase the quality of your life. You may even be able to guide others that are going through similar experiences. I will not only teach you to live outside of the box that you have fallen into but will teach you tools that will free you from the negativity. The rest is up to you.
 
If you’re ready to kick butt then let’s chat! Let’s make this happen. Let’s get you onto the next chapter in your life!!

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ANXIETY

8/31/2021

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Anxiety - can you relate?


Have you felt your heart rate increasing? Are you feeling panicky? What about sweaty palms, having issues concentrating or constantly feeling anxious? You may have your own tools of trying to calm your mind and body, but it has its hold on you. The only safe place you think is home, where it is safe, and you can avoid the outside world; then bam! The cycle anxiety begins again.

Although anxiety is a normal part of one’s life, when feelings of anxiety and panic overwhelming interfere with the persons daily activities, the person needs help. The thoughts and feelings are difficult to control, fears are amplified, the concern lasts for several hours, and the body experiences uncomfortable physical symptoms.

We all have experienced different levels of anxiety throughout our lives and handle stresses differently. For instance, a family member passes away and a person with anxiety prioritizes the things that must be done – they seem to be completely in control. They are capable and able to take care of others but not necessarily themselves. In many cases, people who experience a traumatic event, either think they can manage on their own or do not seek help from their immediate support system...until the mental state triggers become present. By taking care of ourselves, both mentally and physically, we can work through the causes or triggers. In some cases, with medication.

When anxiety knocks, the person begins to spiral into a deep depression, and their life becomes overwhelming and debilitating. Many of us don’t stop and acknowledge the pain and feelings, we suppress them instead; the person just exists, not living their life.

By avoiding or replacing their anxiety, the anxiety manifests the person into becoming a workaholic, an alcoholic, a gambler, an over achiever, a perfectionist, or in numerous other unhealthy ways. For example, a father will burry himself in his work and lash out at the staff. Why? Because this person feels the traumatic life event feels out of their control. Although that person is making the choice not their own, they will avoid not facing and looking at or within themselves. When we are not looking at the overwhelming stress and the path that brought that us to where they are today, we are not taking advantage of learning tools to assist us to not only feel safe but to also take care of yourself.

Let’s work together to move past this chapter in your life, and on to the next.  Book your FREE consult today.
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Call, text, or email me: 604-315-2440 or jennifer@soulutionscounselling.com

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jENNIFER VAUTHRIN, m.P.c.c., r.p.c.
JENnifer@soulutionscounselling.com​​
(604) 315-2440
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Jennifer Vauthrin
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  • ABOUT ME
    • YOUTUBE CHANNEL
    • Online Virtual Counselling
  • SERVICES
    • ANXIETY & DEPRESSION
    • ADDICTION >
      • Helpful links for addicts and their families
      • Links to information
    • ANGER
    • BULIMIA & PURGING
    • CODEPENDENCY >
      • Codependency
      • Codependency
    • GRIEF
    • HEALTH & NUTRITION
    • ICBC COUNSELLING
    • MARRIAGE
    • MENTAL HEALTH >
      • Traumatic Brain Injury
    • RELATIONSHIPS
    • SENIORS
    • STRESS >
      • SUICIDE
      • SKYPE connection/youtube channel and videos
    • YOUTH
  • Blog
    • Addiction support
    • 8 Reasons to See a Counsellor
  • CONTACT
    • Client comments
    • Thoughts/Questions/Comments